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Oh your dating my ex? Cool. Im eating a sandwhich.... You want those leftovers too?
be careful who you open up to. only a few people actually care, the rest are just curious.
ex-boyfriend and ex-girlfriend run into each other
boy:hey! listen, i really miss you
boy:bless you , are you sick?
girl:no, i'm just allergic to bulllSh*t.
I like turtles because they're so chill. They don't hurt anyone. They're just like, "Hey man, I want to swim, and maybe eat some lettuce. But I'm gonna take my time getting there, I'm not in a rush. Because I'm a turtle."
"If you love two people at the same time, choose the second one, because if you really loved the first one you wouldn’t have fallen for the second" - Johnny Depp
i look at my best friend and think: 'why the F*ck do i love this retard?!'
People say you don’t know what you’ve got till it’s gone. Truth is, you knew what you had, you just never thought you’d lose it.
"Dude, wanna hang out?"
"Nah, hanging out with my girl man."
"What happened to bros before hoes?"
"That rule still goes, but it's just that she ain't a hoe."
I hate it when someone mentions the name of the person I no longer wish to remember
Missing someone isn't about how long it has been since you have seen them or the amount of time since you've talked. It's about that very moment when you're doing something and you wish that they were right there with you.
“I failed in some subjects in exam, but my friend passed in all. Now he is an engineer in Microsoft and I am the owner of Microsoft.” Bill Gates.
Dear Parents. Jasmine was in a relationship with a dirty homeless boy named Aladdin. Snow White lived alone with 7 men. Pinocchio was a liar. Robin Hood was a thief. Tarzan walked around without clothes on. A stranger kissed sleeping beauty and she married him. Cinderella lied and snuck out at night to attend a party. You can't blame us. We were taught to rebel since a young age.
3 yrs old "Mommy, I love you."
13 yrs old "Mom, whatever!"
16 yrs old: "My mom is so annoying!"
18 yrs old "I wanna leave this house."
25 yrs old: "Mom, you were right"
30 yrs old "I want to go back to my Mom's house".
50 yrs old: "I don't want to lose my mom."
70 yrs old: "I would give up EVERYTHING for my mom to be here.....with me."
You only have 1 mom.
Like this if you appreciate
& love your mom!
So I've been chatting with this 13 year old girl online. Shes funny, flirty and s*xy. Now she tells me shes an undercover cop, how F*cking cool is that for someone her age?
I will never be your first kiss. i will never be your first love. im not your first valentine, first fight, first teddy bear, or first date. im not in this to be your first anything...i just want to be your last
clapping the longest in assembly because you are a fearless Ba***rd.
a black man walks to a bar. a white man says: "colored people are not allowed in here." the black man says: "when i'm born i'm black; when i'm cold i'm black; when i'm sick i'm black and when i'm dead i'm black! but when you're born you're pink; when you're cold you're blue; when you're sick you're green and when you're dead you're purple! yet you have the nerve to call me colored?!"
like it, if you are AGAINST RACISM
Do you want to know what my problem is? I will tell you what my problem is…
i love you. I love your name, I love the way you look at me, I love your
gorgeous smile, I love the way you walk, I love your beautiful eyes, I
love the sound of your laugh, i love the way you get mad, i love the
way i dont understand you at all. I love the way I can be having the
worst day of my life and seeing you completely changes my mood. I
love how when you touch me I get weak,
thats my problem...
Us girls . . we love it when you kiss us on the cheek, when you kiss us when we're in the middle of saying something, when you play with our hair, and when you wrap your arms around our waist. (:
You know you have reached crazy when you have an argument with your cereal
Snow White lived alone with seven men. Jasmine was in a forbidden relationship with Aladdin. Little Red Riding Hood didn't listen to her mother and went out. Pinocchio was a liar. Robin Hood was a thief. Tarzan walked without clothes on. Sleeping Beauty was kissed by a stranger and married him. Cinderella lied and sneaked out at night to attend a party.
These are the stories our parents raised us with & then they complain our generation is messed up?
When things are good, they're great..When they're bad, they're a disaster...I'm hitting fantastic catastrophe level.
HAVE YOU EVER BEEN DOWN THE WATER SPOUT TO THE VERY BOTTOM OF THE WATER SYSTEM THERE YOULL FIND A LITTLE ALLIGATOR WHO GOES BY THE NAME OF ALFRED IF YOU DO HES MINE. I LOST HIM. I THREW HIM DOWN THE WATER SPOUT AND NOW IM FEELING LONELY CUZ HES GONE. I MISS HIM.
That awkward moment when you forget how to spell an easy word.
I like Mario. he's cool. he's all like "hello, im maaarrio, im a Italian plumber created by Japanese people, who speaks English and looks like a Mexican."
That awkward moment when you sleep at your friends house and wake up before them, and all u can do is stare round their room for an hour or 2 til they wake up ........
Okay, so you're 10 years old, you have a laptop, iPod, Facebook and a Blackberry. Dude when I was 10 I had pokémon cards.
Nazi Germany surrender to the United States on May 7th, 1945.
Chuck Norris was born on May 6th, 1945.
Coincidence? I think not.
That moment when your parents tell you to stay in the line when you’re shopping, and when you’re almost near the cashier, they’re not even back yet, so you start freaking out.
the 4 biggest lies ever told:
1) I'm fine
2)Seriously, I don't like anyone
3) I swear that was my last piece of gum.
4) I have read and i agree to the Terms & Conditions
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