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be careful who you open up to. only a few people actually care, the rest are just curious.
Oh your dating my ex? Cool. Im eating a sandwhich.... You want those leftovers too?
When your texting five people and you tell four of them that your going to bed but theres that one person that you stay up texting even when your falling aslelep :)
ex-boyfriend and ex-girlfriend run into each other
boy:hey! listen, i really miss you
boy:bless you , are you sick?
girl:no, i'm just allergic to bulllSh*t.
I like turtles because they're so chill. They don't hurt anyone. They're just like, "Hey man, I want to swim, and maybe eat some lettuce. But I'm gonna take my time getting there, I'm not in a rush. Because I'm a turtle."
I hate it when someone mentions the name of the person I no longer wish to remember
i have a best friend of the opposite s*x, and they mean the whole world to me. we do not fancy each other and yes, we do laugh together. that isn't flirting, its called a joke. i can tell them secrets and they will keep them, i can trust them with my life and they make me smile on a daily basis:)
Going around the kitchen like pac-man because you have the munchies
thats what she said!!!!! :)
Blonde: I wanna drown myself
Burnette: Well do it then
Blonde: I don't know how to
Burnette:Just put your head under the water and don't bring it up
Blonde: I tried that but i couldn't breath
Like if you get it!
waking up after a night out and realising you've ruined your life
That moment when your parents tell you to stay in the line when you’re shopping, and when you’re almost near the cashier, they’re not even back yet, so you start freaking out.
Admit it. At some point in time you've tried to see if you had superpowers.
friends are like potatoes, if you eat them, they will die.
Never expect. Never assume. Never ask. And never demand. Just let it be. If it's meant to be, it will happen :)
A boyfriend is supposed to tell his girlfriend that he loves her everyday, send her random texts, call her for no other reason but to hear her voice and always makes sure she is in a good mood .. when they meet kiss her gently and hug her and hold her hand... when they are waiting for something, come behind her and hug her and dont let go<3 This is true love.. if you have a girlfriend.. make her feel special and do all this <3
"If you love two people at the same time, choose the second one, because if you really loved the first one you wouldn’t have fallen for the second" - Johnny Depp
That awkward moment when you forget how to spell an easy word.
Why does a round pizza come in a square box? Why doesn't glue stick to its bottle? Why do you still call it a building when its already built? If you aren’t suppose to drink and drive, why do bars have parking lots? funny world.
Bhag Bhag...DK Bose...DK Bose..DK Bose..DK Bose...
Run Run..DK..Run..DK Run...DK Run...Run Run..DK...;)
'I want to F*ck you'
'I just had s*x'
...Poor guy had to wait 4 years
a black man walks to a bar. a white man says: "colored people are not allowed in here." the black man says: "when i'm born i'm black; when i'm cold i'm black; when i'm sick i'm black and when i'm dead i'm black! but when you're born you're pink; when you're cold you're blue; when you're sick you're green and when you're dead you're purple! yet you have the nerve to call me colored?!"
like it, if you are AGAINST RACISM
Nazi Germany surrender to the United States on May 7th, 1945.
Chuck Norris was born on May 6th, 1945.
Coincidence? I think not.
Chuck Norris likes his meat so rare, he only eats unicorns.
The real danger of chewing gum at school isn't being caught by your teachers, its being caught by your friends
Good morning texts. (:
how can someone you once were so close to, just all of a sudden ignore you like its no big deal
If I could reach up and hold a star for every time you made me smile, I would have the whole night sky in the palm of my hand.
1+1=69 . . . like if you get it :)
Girl: Slow down, I'm scared.
Guy: No, this is fun.
Girl: No it's not. Please it's 2 scary!
Guy : Then tell me you love me.
Girl: Fine, I love you. Slow down!
Guy: Now give me a BIG hug.
Girl : *hugs him*
Guy: Can you take my helmet off and
put it on yourself? It's bugging me.
Girl:Alright, now slow down
Guy: I love you babe
Girl: I love you too, please just slow
down now! Please!
(in the paper the next day):
A motorcycle had crashed into a
building because of a brake failure.
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