Long live God, and the Holy men of the...(See More)

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Long live God, and the Holy men of the Christians, Jews, Muslims, Buddhists, Hindus, Sihks, Athiests, and any other religious views for I am not Racist, Racism is a SIN itself! Lets work together! so that we can destroy PS3's and long live xbox :D like this if you like bagels.

Showers aren't just for cleaning, and some people don't go in just for cleaning.... It's for... A place thinking about life... A place when your depressed... A place to sing without getting embarrassed... A place for alone time... A place to get warmth... Showers are amazing.

a black man walks to a bar. a white man says: "colored people are not allowed in here." the black man says: "when i'm born i'm black; when i'm cold i'm black; when i'm sick i'm black and when i'm dead i'm black! but when you're born you're pink; when you're cold you're blue; when you're sick you're green and when you're dead you're purple! yet you have the nerve to call me colored?!"
like it, if you are AGAINST RACISM

"If you love two people at the same time, choose the second one, because if you really loved the first one you wouldn’t have fallen for the second" - Johnny Depp

Missing someone isn't about how long it has been since you have seen them or the amount of time since you've talked. It's about that very moment when you're doing something and you wish that they were right there with you.

Oh your dating my ex? Cool. Im eating a sandwhich.... You want those leftovers too?

It's not that I hate you.. it's just, put it this way. if you were on fire and i had water, i'd drink it.

Showers aren't just for cleaning, and some people don't go in just for cleaning.... It's for...
A place thinking about life...
A place when your depressed...
A place to sing without getting embarrassed...
A place for alone time...
A place to get warmth...
Showers are amazing.

HAVE YOU EVER BEEN DOWN THE WATER SPOUT TO THE VERY BOTTOM OF THE WATER SYSTEM THERE YOULL FIND A LITTLE ALLIGATOR WHO GOES BY THE NAME OF ALFRED IF YOU DO HES MINE. I LOST HIM. I THREW HIM DOWN THE WATER SPOUT AND NOW IM FEELING LONELY CUZ HES GONE. I MISS HIM.

Having a wank with the door open, because you're a fearless Ba***rd.

ex-boyfriend and ex-girlfriend run into each other
boy:hey! listen, i really miss you
girl:*sneezes*
boy:bless you , are you sick?
girl:no, i'm just allergic to bulllSh*t.

Snow White lived alone with seven men. Jasmine was in a forbidden relationship with Aladdin. Little Red Riding Hood didn't listen to her mother and went out. Pinocchio was a liar. Robin Hood was a thief. Tarzan walked without clothes on. Sleeping Beauty was kissed by a stranger and married him. Cinderella lied and sneaked out at night to attend a party.
These are the stories our parents raised us with & then they complain our generation is messed up?

At school we used to sing "Gooooooooooood morninggggggggg teacher.......".......when she said to sit again "Thanqqqqqqqqqqqq teacherrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr...........".......:p

So I've been chatting with this 13 year old girl online. Shes funny, flirty and s*xy. Now she tells me shes an undercover cop, how F*cking cool is that for someone her age?

Bad weather + No school= Everyone on Facebook

When you know you like someone and everything seems to be going well... then it all c**ks up :/

That awkward moment when you forget how to spell an easy word.

Dr Stephen Brown From Derry, N.Ireland

Spelling things correctly.

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Opinions are like kittens im just giving em away..

If you ignore me, I will ignore you. If you don't start the conversation, we wont talk. If you don't put in the effort, why should I?

What do you call a guy who makes jokes about girls being in the kitchen? Single.

That moment when your parents tell you to stay in the line when you’re shopping, and when you’re almost near the cashier, they’re not even back yet, so you start freaking out.

"Dude, wanna hang out?"
"Nah, hanging out with my girl man."
"What happened to bros before hoes?"
"That rule still goes, but it's just that she ain't a hoe."

if your still standing, you haven't drunk enough.

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Dude, Calm down. It's only P.E, not the Olympics.

I'm just a typical teenager?
I have a messy room.
I am moody.
I have fallouts/arguments.
I swear.
I moan most of the time.
I spend most of my time on my laptop.
I have private things on my phone.
I go to bed late.
So mum and dad.. deal with it.

the 4 biggest lies ever told:
1) I'm fine
2)Seriously, I don't like anyone
3) I swear that was my last piece of gum.
4) I have read and i agree to the Terms & Conditions

Guy: Want to hear a joke about my c**k? Never mind, its too long.
Girl: Want to hear a joke about my vagina? Never mind, you won't get it.