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The real danger of chewing gum at school isn't being caught by your teachers, its being caught by your friends
Roses are Red, Nuts are brown, Skirts go Up, Pants go Down, Body to Body, Skin to Skin, When it is Stiff, Stick it In, The Longer its In, The stronger it Gets, It goes in Dry, Comes out Wet, It comes out dripping,and it starts to Sag, Its not what you Think ... Its a tea bag!
Comments on your FB profile pic
friends: aww, you look so pretty! :)
best friends: Man, you lookin so s*xii! I would so tap that! XD
Oh your dating my ex? Cool. Im eating a sandwhich.... You want those leftovers too?
Missing someone isn't about how long it has been since you have seen them or the amount of time since you've talked. It's about that very moment when you're doing something and you wish that they were right there with you.
i look at my best friend and think: 'why the F*ck do i love this retard?!'
Dear sister I miss you only when I can't find some one to do my work for me
Snow White lived alone with seven men. Jasmine was in a forbidden relationship with Aladdin. Little Red Riding Hood didn't listen to her mother and went out. Pinocchio was a liar. Robin Hood was a thief. Tarzan walked without clothes on. Sleeping Beauty was kissed by a stranger and married him. Cinderella lied and sneaked out at night to attend a party.
These are the stories our parents raised us with & then they complain our generation is messed up?
Buddy: You're not Santa!
Fake Santa: Yes I am.
Buddy: No you're not.
Santa: Yes, I am.
Buddy: OK if you're Santa, what song did I sing to you on your birthday?
Santa: Why, uh, Happy Birthday, of course!
Buddy: Dang it...
When someone trys to cut ass and you just use reverse psycology on their ass.. yea, feels pretty badass. NA MEAN? ;)
1+1=69 . . . like if you get it :)
I like turtles because they're so chill. They don't hurt anyone. They're just like, "Hey man, I want to swim, and maybe eat some lettuce. But I'm gonna take my time getting there, I'm not in a rush. Because I'm a turtle."
A guy broke into my apartment last week.. He didn't take the TV, just the remote. Now he drives by and changes the channels.. Sick Ba***rd..
knowing that you're better than the person who's currently dating your ex :)
When they say 5 hour energy gets rid of that 2:30 feeling their right. Instead its replaced with the feeling you get when you waking up at 6:30 the next morning with a major hangover.
Boys: Like this if you exist..... I'm a guy, I hate call of duty, If I had a girlfriend I'd show her off to all of my friends, I'd tell her everyday why she was so amazing, I'd love her for who she is, not her body, for her heart.
Joshua Nathan Broughton :)
i like the boys who start the conversation saying "hi sis" that bring about a sigh of relief...whoaa
Mandag: Dritsur - Tirsdag: Fortsatt sur - Onsdag: Bare 3 dager til nå... Torsdag: Ahhh.. helg imorgen.. Fredag: CHILLÆRN! - Lørdag: WooHo, sove lenge... Søndag: Åh fy faen, en ny uke + at søndager er driiitkjedelig.
Only when you are lock out. The is the moment in which you realise that a key is sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo important.
when you know one of your friends like the same guy. you give up on him, and let her have it. but she doesn't appreciate it, and realize the day you told her who you like, she was all negative about it. she says ily to you huh, then what would she say that to her boyfriend if "ily" meant nothing but 'im just a fake friend of yours, dont bother'?
95% of teens would panic if Justin Bieber was on a 250 foot building about to jump. 5% brought popcorn, a chair, and shouted "DO A FLIP!"
If it keeps me warm, I'll give it to you to keep you warm. Coz real men will brave any and all elements if giving his jacket meant it would keep his woman warm. What's a lil frostbite gonna do?
we all know a chloe who sucks c**k and has aids
Single&Avalible...But NOT For You! XD
Garfield, why do YOU hate Mondays? YOU DON'T EVEN WORK!
Being weird, cuz being normal is just too boring :]
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Caaaarrrrrllllll. There is a dead human in our house!....Ohh hey, how did he get there??
"So what's your destination?"
Like this if your on a diet but you can't help it and eat something like chocolate :p
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