dear bed, im sorry i left you this morning, take me back? ):
be careful who you open up to. only a few people actually care, the rest are just curious.
Oh your dating my ex? Cool. Im eating a sandwhich.... You want those leftovers too?
the rejection you feel when you look at your phone and nobody has texted you...
Before s*x, you help each other get naked, after s*x you only dress yourself. Moral of the story: in life no one helps you once you're F*cked
Can't, Sorry, My dads giving birth....
There's a fine line between tan, and looking like you rolled in Doritos!
Dear Parents. Jasmine was in a relationship with a dirty homeless boy named Aladdin. Snow White lived alone with 7 men. Pinocchio was a liar. Robin Hood was a thief. Tarzan walked around without clothes on. A stranger kissed sleeping beauty and she married him. Cinderella lied and snuck out at night to attend a party. You can't blame us. We were taught to rebel since a young age.
a black man walks to a bar. a white man says: "colored people are not allowed in here." the black man says: "when i'm born i'm black; when i'm cold i'm black; when i'm sick i'm black and when i'm dead i'm black! but when you're born you're pink; when you're cold you're blue; when you're sick you're green and when you're dead you're purple! yet you have the nerve to call me colored?!"
like it, if you are AGAINST RACISM
sometimes the best revenge is to smile, move on, and do NOTHING ;)
"DUDE! He called you a Pakistani!"....... "OH HELL NO! HOLD MY BIRYANI!"
That awkward moment when you sleep at your friends house and wake up before them, and all u can do is stare round their room for an hour or 2 til they wake up ........
R.I.P Micheala Harte :(
Daughter: Hey mum i'm going to my room with my boyfriend.
Mum: Okay don't do anything St*pid.
*.Gf & Bf go into bedroom.*
Daughter screams: Baby, baby, baby ohh!
*.Mum runs into her room.*
Mum: What are you doing!?!?!?!?
Daughter: Mum were having s*x, get out!
Mum: Oh thank god i thought you were listening to justin bieber.
HOUSE PARTIES! ...just not at my house.....
Hang ingat hang baguih? Jangan dok buat rancak!
i look at my best friend and think: 'why the F*ck do i love this retard?!'
Boobies.
Mom, my friends don't care if my room is messy. They just care if we have food.
There are only two types of honest people in this world, small children and drunk people.
The Paul Martin centre for kids who can't read good and wanna learn how to do other stuff good too.
That moment when your parents tell you to stay in the line when you’re shopping, and when you’re almost near the cashier, they’re not even back yet, so you start freaking out.
never put o after almost every word it will end up like this
I'm going homo to eat a taoo
Rusty , Allen , Potter <3 .
The only thing worse then the one you love not loving you back, is crying over it. That a$$hole isn't worth the tears.
Q. What’s the difference between Justin Bieber and Lady Gaga ?
A. One of them has balls... and it ain’t Bieber.
does it mean there cheating when ya see another girl txt ur fella late at night r does it mean they just have friends hard question one simple answer ? but wat it that answer !!!!!!!!!!
I need a kiss right now , Your lips baby lemme taste'em .
If you want to work out you going to have to tell me where we need to meet up ?
If you want to work out you going to have to tell me where we need to meet up ?
I need a kiss right now , Your lips baby lemme taste'em .
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