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Never underestimate a girl's ability to find things out...
Me: Can I use the bathroom? Teacher: I don't know, can you? Me: When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom? Teacher: ...
Awkward moment when your standing there pushing a pull door :/
be careful who you open up to. only a few people actually care, the rest are just curious.
That awkward moment when you sleep at your friends house and wake up before them, and all u can do is stare round their room for an hour or 2 til they wake up ........
Hey Google, why don't you sit next to me during my exam? ;)
ex-boyfriend and ex-girlfriend run into each other
boy:hey! listen, i really miss you
girl:*sneezes*
boy:bless you , are you sick?
girl:no, i'm just allergic to bulllSh*t.
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Bad weather + No school= Everyone on Facebook
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When you know you like someone and everything seems to be going well... then it all c**ks up :/
Sharks aren't the bad guys. If some stranger entered my house in just a Speedo, I would probably attack him too.
Spelling things correctly.
mwi wae the lads mwi wae the lads mwi mwi mwi mwi mwi wae the ladssssssss<3!
Boy: can i touch your software?
Girl: show me first your hardware
Boy: can i install it in your system?
Girl: OK! if you cover it with anti-virus first!
oh, so this is act like me day today? you were acting like someone else before. immature retards.
the awkward moment when someone eats all the cake!!
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You can stab my heart a million times
I’ll still lick up the blood and smile
You can stab my heart a million times
Cuz I know that I’m ready die…
A guy broke into my apartment last week.. He didn't take the TV, just the remote. Now he drives by and changes the channels.. Sick Ba***rd..
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Teen boy's mum and dad don't know that he swears on FB...
Dad: Im so in the loop now with all the cool kid's sayings.
Teen boy: *snorts* u sure bout that?
Dad: yup :)
Teen boy: ok then wat does LOL mean?
Dad: Laugh Out Loud
Teen: Wat does BRB mean?
Dad: Be right bak
Teen: wat does OMG mean?
Dad: Oh My God
Teen: wat does WTF mean? (oh, wait. crap.)
Dad: Why the face
Teen: ...
Dad: wat did i get one wrong? (i dont see how...)
Teen: NO!! u got them ALL RIGHT!! (just dont look them up!
sometimes i wonder if my parents look at me and think 'oh my god, my child is a retard'
Dude, Calm down. It's only P.E, not the Olympics.
iloveyou.
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Q: What is black; white; green and bumpy?
A: A pickle wearing a tuxedo.
Q: What do you call cheese that isn't yours?
A: Nacho cheese!
Q: What kind of coffee was served on the Titanic?
A: Sanka!
Q: What's the best thing to put into a pie?
A: Your teeth!
Q: "Waiter, this food tastes kind of funny?"
A: Then why aren't you laughing!
Q: Did you hear the joke about the peanut butter?
A: I'm not telling you. You might spread it!
Q: Why do the French like to eat snails?
A: Because they don't like fast food!
Q: Why did the fisherman put peanut butter into the sea?
A: To go with the jellyfish!
Q: Why shouldn't you tell an egg a joke?
A: Because it might crack up!
Q: What did the baby corn say to it's mom?
A: Where is pop corn?
if your still standing, you haven't drunk enough.
Nothing in life is unfixable...everything can be fixed when you put your mind to it!
If Someone Hurts You, Betrays You, Or Breaks Your Heart Forgive Them For They Have Helped You Learn Trust And The Importance Of Being Catious To Who It Is You Open Your Heart To.
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