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I know theres some times where you wish you never met me... I just wish you'll ever forget me <3
In your bed, it's 6AM, you close your eyes for 5 minutes, it's 7:45. At school, it's 1:30, you close your eyes for 5 minutes, it's 1:30.
a black man walks to a bar. a white man says: "colored people are not allowed in here." the black man says: "when i'm born i'm black; when i'm cold i'm black; when i'm sick i'm black and when i'm dead i'm black! but when you're born you're pink; when you're cold you're blue; when you're sick you're green and when you're dead you're purple! yet you have the nerve to call me colored?!"
like it, if you are AGAINST RACISM
"If you love two people at the same time, choose the second one, because if you really loved the first one you wouldn’t have fallen for the second" - Johnny Depp
Oh your dating my ex? Cool. Im eating a sandwhich.... You want those leftovers too?
ex-boyfriend and ex-girlfriend run into each other
boy:hey! listen, i really miss you
girl:*sneezes*
boy:bless you , are you sick?
girl:no, i'm just allergic to bulllSh*t.
HAVE YOU EVER BEEN DOWN THE WATER SPOUT TO THE VERY BOTTOM OF THE WATER SYSTEM THERE YOULL FIND A LITTLE ALLIGATOR WHO GOES BY THE NAME OF ALFRED IF YOU DO HES MINE. I LOST HIM. I THREW HIM DOWN THE WATER SPOUT AND NOW IM FEELING LONELY CUZ HES GONE. I MISS HIM.
Showers aren't just for cleaning, and some people don't go in just for cleaning.... It's for...
A place thinking about life...
A place when your depressed...
A place to sing without getting embarrassed...
A place for alone time...
A place to get warmth...
Showers are amazing.
Werd.
It's not that I hate you.. it's just, put it this way. if you were on fire and i had water, i'd drink it.
Having a wank with the door open, because you're a fearless Ba***rd.
At school we used to sing "Gooooooooooood morninggggggggg teacher.......".......when she said to sit again "Thanqqqqqqqqqqqq teacherrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr...........".......:p
Missing someone isn't about how long it has been since you have seen them or the amount of time since you've talked. It's about that very moment when you're doing something and you wish that they were right there with you.
The awarkerd moment when your friend has a cup of milk an you ''say is that tea not to milkey or is it not to cold'' an your friend says its milk!''
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the awkward moment when someone eats all the cake!!
What do you call a guy who makes jokes about girls being in the kitchen? Single.
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in every circle of friends, there is one who makes every conversation dirty, one who knows how to answer every question u throw at them, a blonde and of course, one who says random jokes and punch lines
Guy: Want to hear a joke about my c**k? Never mind, its too long.
Girl: Want to hear a joke about my vagina? Never mind, you won't get it.
There was a Blonde, a Brunette, and a Ginger.
They were all in jail and escaped. They ran to a nearby farm, which had a barn. The police were a few hours behind them.
The three girls hid in the barn.
The brunette hid behind the horse.
The ginger hid behind the pigs.
And the blonde hid behind the hay.
The police entered the barn and began to search around.
The horse said "neighh".
The pig said "oinkk".
And the hay said "heyyyyyy(:".
Like if you get it :D
Guy: ummm... i know am going to die
Girl : dont say that just relax
Guy : no you must know the truth
girl : *gives him something to drink *
Guy : YO MUST KNOW I SLEEPED WITH UR SISTER , MY NEIGBOR,MY SECRETARY ,AND DANLy
girl: I know I know just relaz and let the VenOm take affect
LIKE IF YOU GET IT <3
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That moment when your parents tell you to stay in the line when you’re shopping, and when you’re almost near the cashier, they’re not even back yet, so you start freaking out.
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"Dude, wanna hang out?"
"Nah, hanging out with my girl man."
"What happened to bros before hoes?"
"That rule still goes, but it's just that she ain't a hoe."
Dude, Calm down. It's only P.E, not the Olympics.
So I've been chatting with this 13 year old girl online. Shes funny, flirty and s*xy. Now she tells me shes an undercover cop, how F*cking cool is that for someone her age?
I'm just a typical teenager?
I have a messy room.
I am moody.
I have fallouts/arguments.
I swear.
I moan most of the time.
I spend most of my time on my laptop.
I have private things on my phone.
I go to bed late.
So mum and dad.. deal with it.
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