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Go to google translate, type in "MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW" and translate it to Chinese. Once you recover from laughing your butt off, like this :)
The real danger of chewing gum at school isn't being caught by your teachers, its being caught by your friends
"s*xy" means I want you. "Pretty" means I like you. "Beautiful" means I love you. "Gorgeous" means all of the above and that is because you are the best thing that ever happened to me :)
Comments on your FB profile pic
friends: aww, you look so pretty! :)
best friends: Man, you lookin so s*xii! I would so tap that! XD
"If you love two people at the same time, choose the second one, because if you really loved the first one you wouldn’t have fallen for the second" - Johnny Depp
clapping the longest in assembly because you are a fearless Ba***rd.
Admit it. ..................................... At some point in time you've tried to see if you had superpowers.
When your texting five people and you tell four of them that your going to bed but theres that one person that you stay up texting even when your falling aslelep :)
girl : owww oooh ahhh oh i feel soooo baaaad Me: *give a look * . then when no1 aske girl watsup they just get louder louder and louder until finally Me: Can u shudup plz ! . girl gets louder and louder so. Me: okay th WAT THE HELL IS UP !!!! GIRL: I JUST FEEL SOO TERRIBLE ....*DROWNS ON AND ON * Me:*just walks of without really paying attention* then the girl has to follow u around all day . like if this has ever happened
That moment when you realize he's never going to change and you let him go and move on
Oh your dating my ex? Cool. Im eating a sandwhich.... You want those leftovers too?
Buddy: You're not Santa!
Fake Santa: Yes I am.
Buddy: No you're not.
Santa: Yes, I am.
Buddy: OK if you're Santa, what song did I sing to you on your birthday?
Santa: Why, uh, Happy Birthday, of course!
Buddy: Dang it...
The only time teenagers watch the news is to see if the school is closed. =D
How come all of these likes are about boyfriends and girlfriends? :/ They should be about bacon. Because bacon is amazing and can bring world peace.
"HO HO HO!!".......is what Santa says in a strip club
Do you want to know what my problem is? I will tell you what my problem is…
i love you. I love your name, I love the way you look at me, I love your
gorgeous smile, I love the way you walk, I love your beautiful eyes, I
love the sound of your laugh, i love the way you get mad, i love the
way i dont understand you at all. I love the way I can be having the
worst day of my life and seeing you completely changes my mood. I
love how when you touch me I get weak,
thats my problem...
Me: Can I use the bathroom?
Teacher: I don't know, can you?
Me: When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?
Missing someone isn't about how long it has been since you have seen them or the amount of time since you've talked. It's about that very moment when you're doing something and you wish that they were right there with you.
las cosas te pasan PUTA k eres !!!!
momWHAT!!R U OK??
boy:i just got best k!llstrike in black ops!!!
Dear Rihanna, In the song 'S&M' you say - 's*x in the air, I don't care, I love the smell of it' So what does s*x smell like? Signed your confused fans :) x
^ Whoever made this group is clearly a confused virgin who has never had s*x, or been in a room after s*x. Signed an unconfused fan.
Verdigris is full of drama and fake people :)
Dude, she just called you ghetto! OH HAIL NO. Hold my earings.
Like if you have a friend who, if you were to lose contact with for 5 years, would suddenly break down your door and force you to hang out with them.
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come fly with me...
old women: i need to buy my grandson a birthday gift, but i left my money in my suitcase...
Moses: okay i will pay what do you want to get him?
old women: fags and a bottle of whisky
Moses: how olds your grandson?
old women: 12 !!!
The awkward moment when a left hand drive goes through a McDonalds Drive-Thru
"Hey, she called you fat." "Aw, HEEEEEELLL NAW! Hold my cake!"
Sometimes, I don't understand myself..
i listen to everyones problems and make them happy because i wish someone would do that for me.
when your black friend dresses up as a Ku Klux Klan member and chases you around the streets with a flaming pitchfork.....
One week before 2012, the Believers are gonna get high, rob people, hire wh*res, get arrested and have a jolly time...until they find out that December 22, 2012 actually did come along...
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