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waking up after a night out and realising you've ruined your life
Girl: I can be naughty Boy:How naughty?? Girl: Real Naughty Boy: Show me :) Girl: **Snaps the boys black ops disk** Boy:....
I'm one of those people who just goes around liking stuff on Facebook when im bored.
waking up after a night out and realising you've ruined your life
Do you want to know what my problem is? I will tell you what my problem is…
i love you. I love your name, I love the way you look at me, I love your
gorgeous smile, I love the way you walk, I love your beautiful eyes, I
love the sound of your laugh, i love the way you get mad, i love the
way i dont understand you at all. I love the way I can be having the
worst day of my life and seeing you completely changes my mood. I
love how when you touch me I get weak,
thats my problem...
That awkward moment when you sleep at your friends house and wake up before them, and all u can do is stare round their room for an hour or 2 til they wake up ........
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WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON'T SUCK c**k? ? ?
Justin Bieber: hey dad i just had my first time having s*x....
Dad: really?? thats awesome son!! any questions??
Justin Bieber: yeah, when will my ass stop hurting??
Dad:.......................
**Boy and Girl texting**
Boy: Haii cutie !
Girl: ............. hey :/
Boy: Wha... what's wrong dear?
Girl: i'm lonely.
- Door bell rings, she walks and opens the door to see him there with a rose
Real Life
Boy: hi :P
Girl: hey
Boy: whats wrong
Girl: everything :(
Boy: Lol Ok
Girl: ......... wow thanks douche
Texting a person in the same room as me, then staring at them until they get it
Teacher: Billy, stop making ugly faces at other students!
Billy: Why?
Teacher: Well, when I was your age, I was told that if i kept making ugly faces, my face would stay that way.
Billy: Well, I can see you didn't listen.
Brother - "Hey dad, i got a girlfriend :)"
Dad - "Good job son"
Sister - "Hey daddy, i got a boyfriend :)"
Dad - *loads shotgun*
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unless your name is GOOGLE, stop acting like you f*cking know everything.
Like this if you love being AWESOME!
HOUSE PARTIES! ...just not at my house.....
I LOVE MY MOM. SHE'S ONE IN A MILLION.
i feel bad for Monday, everyone hates it..
I follow my friends around their house cause I don't want to be left alone and have awkward moments with their parents.
18 year old: *singing classic Disney movie songs*
8 year old: you're singing Disney? that means you're a freak!
18 year old: no, it means i had a happy childhood while you were corrupted by Dora and Hannah Montana.
TAKE THAT NEW GENERATION!
Seeing your 70 year old Nan on the news for beating up robbers with her handbag.
Cause I may be bad, but I'm perfectly good at it
s*x in the air, I don't care, I love the smell of it
Sticks and stones may break my bones
But chains and whips excite me ,.
We Have all:
1. Faked that we were asleep when our parents walked in the room.
2. Made A cookie out of playdoh
3. tried to get our friends to spell ICUP.
4. Pretended that our hands were people talking
....LIKE IF YOU HAVE EVER DONE ANY OF THIS(:
That awkward moment when you forget how to spell an easy word.
-You speak english?
Yes
-Name
Adolf Bumin
-s*x?
3-5 times a day
-NO I MEAN MALE FEMALE?
Yes, male, female and sometimes camel.
-HOLY COW
Yes, cows sheep lamb. Animals in general.
Oh dear!
No deer runs to fast
LOL LIKE IF U GET IT
Brunette goes the to the doctor, says that every part of her body hurts when she touches it."Impossible"says the doctor."Show me."She takes her finger and pushes her elbow and screams in agony. She pushes her knee and screams, pushes her ankle and screams and so on.The doctor says,"You're not really a brunette are you?" She says, "No,I'm really a blonde." "I thought so," he says."Your finger's broken"
So ready for summer.
don't judge when you don't know. don't accuse if you're not sure. don't hate if you have no reason. don't think you know everything about me, cos you don't.
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Guy: "Wow that girl is hot with a great voice!" Girl: "That's Justin Bieber..." Guy: "Never speak of this moment."
Saying LEGIT.
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