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waking up after a night out and realising you've ruined your life
Girl: what would you do if i broke up with you? boy: then i'd go back to my ex. (girl cried and broke up with him) --next day-- girl: what are you doing here?? boy: like what i said, i'd go back to my ex. so, will you take me back ?
I like turtles because they're so chill. They don't hurt anyone. They're just like, "Hey man, I want to swim, and maybe eat some lettuce. But I'm gonna take my time getting there, I'm not in a rush. Because I'm a turtle."
womens english-
yes= no.
no= yes.
maybe= no.
we need= i want.
i am sorry= you'll be sorry.
we need to talk= your in trouble.
of course, go ahead= you better not.
do what you want= you'll pay for this later.
im not upset= of course im upset, you moron!
"If you love two people at the same time, choose the second one, because if you really loved the first one you wouldn’t have fallen for the second" - Johnny Depp
That moment when your parents tell you to stay in the line when you’re shopping, and when you’re almost near the cashier, they’re not even back yet, so you start freaking out.
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You may not be the brightest crayon in the box, but you're still my favorite colour.
Before s*x, you help each other get naked, after s*x you only dress yourself. Moral of the story: in life no one helps you once you're F*cked
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Sh*t Happens, No a$$holes cause it.
like this if someone made u smile today:}
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how do you wear those heels? Proudly.
Yes You May Have 20+ Likes On All Your Pictures But You Look Nothing Like That In Real Life!
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a black man walks to a bar. a white man says: "colored people are not allowed in here." the black man says: "when i'm born i'm black; when i'm cold i'm black; when i'm sick i'm black and when i'm dead i'm black! but when you're born you're pink; when you're cold you're blue; when you're sick you're green and when you're dead you're purple! yet you have the nerve to call me colored?!"
like it, if you are AGAINST RACISM
putting freezing cold hands on someone warm.. :P
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spot 'gay' : abcdefghijustinbieberklmnopqrstuvwxyz
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Dear daddy,
no matter where i go in life,
who i get married to,
how much time i spend with guys,
how much i love my boyfriend,
how much i talk about my boyfriend,
you'll always b my number one man.
Sincerely, your little girl.
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sometimes i wonder if my parents look at me and think 'oh my god, my child is a retard'
Have you ever noticed the girls' with the parents' who baby them, spoil them, and treat them like shes 5 when they're16 almpst always turn out to be the sl*tty girl who smokes and drinks?
I'm jealous of people who get to see you every day.
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