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jaysus the tide wouldn't even take ya out
Sharks aren't the bad guys. If some stranger entered my house in just a Speedo, I would probably attack him too.
Oh your dating my ex? Cool. Im eating a sandwhich.... You want those leftovers too?
Snow White lived alone with seven men. Jasmine was in a forbidden relationship with Aladdin. Little Red Riding Hood didn't listen to her mother and went out. Pinocchio was a liar. Robin Hood was a thief. Tarzan walked without clothes on. Sleeping Beauty was kissed by a stranger and married him. Cinderella lied and sneaked out at night to attend a party.
These are the stories our parents raised us with & then they complain our generation is messed up?
a black man walks to a bar. a white man says: "colored people are not allowed in here." the black man says: "when i'm born i'm black; when i'm cold i'm black; when i'm sick i'm black and when i'm dead i'm black! but when you're born you're pink; when you're cold you're blue; when you're sick you're green and when you're dead you're purple! yet you have the nerve to call me colored?!"
like it, if you are AGAINST RACISM
"If you love two people at the same time, choose the second one, because if you really loved the first one you wouldn’t have fallen for the second" - Johnny Depp
That moment when your parents tell you to stay in the line when you’re shopping, and when you’re almost near the cashier, they’re not even back yet, so you start freaking out.
It's not that I hate you.. it's just, put it this way. if you were on fire and i had water, i'd drink it.
i look at my best friend and think: 'why the F*ck do i love this retard?!'
"You can't just come walking in here on a sunday morning with a big banana and expect everything to be peaches." - Pauly D :)
The sweetest thing a boyfriend can say to his girl:
"The next girl I will ever love on this Earth, will be our DAUGHTER." (:
Hey Google, why don't you sit next to me during my exam? ;)
"Dude, wanna hang out?"
"Nah, hanging out with my girl man."
"What happened to bros before hoes?"
"That rule still goes, but it's just that she ain't a hoe."
When your texting five people and you tell four of them that your going to bed but theres that one person that you stay up texting even when your falling aslelep :)
Dear Teachers,
I'm sorry I didn't realize that the color of my nails, how many bracelets I wear, If my hair is up or down, What clothes I have on, If I wear make-up or how many piercings I have would affect my education.
Sincerely,
Students.
four main reasons a girl
will stop texting back.
One - You said something that made her mad
Two - You just started to get boring
Three - She fell asleep
Four - You said the letter "K"
Do you want to know what my problem is? I will tell you what my problem is…
i love you. I love your name, I love the way you look at me, I love your
gorgeous smile, I love the way you walk, I love your beautiful eyes, I
love the sound of your laugh, i love the way you get mad, i love the
way i dont understand you at all. I love the way I can be having the
worst day of my life and seeing you completely changes my mood. I
love how when you touch me I get weak,
thats my problem...
when someone touches your phone and you automaticaly turn into a ninja.
In your bed, it's 6AM, you close your eyes for 5 minutes, it's 7:45. At school, it's 1:30, you close your eyes for 5 minutes, it's 1:30.
DID YOU KNOW:
-Kissing is healthy.
-Bananas are good for cramps.
-Chicken soup actually makes you feel better.
-Its true. Guys DO insult you if they like you.
-Having someone rub your tummy when it hurts actually helps it.
-89% of guys would want girls to make the first move.
-Girls love it when Guys hug them from behind the waist.
-Chocolate makes you feel better.
-Girls love it when guys let them wear their hoodie or jacket.
-Guys think its cute when you mess up.
the 4 biggest lies ever told:
1) I'm fine
2)Seriously, I don't like anyone
3) I swear that was my last piece of gum.
4) I have read and i agree to the Terms & Conditions
Im Right in front of you...so why don't you notice me
If a girl admits that she likes you, know that it took her every ounce of courage she has. Idiot, don't take her for granted.
Because I am half black, in a horror movie I would either die last or get slashed up pretty good. But best believe the k!ller is going to die with me! The End! =oP
Like this if your a guy, and your sick of all these misandreous likes on Facebook.
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Knowing that u used to be best friends and now everything that was is now nothing
that guy in the background that always yells "MAH LEG!"
hairy men who play the synth.
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(Content removed due to TOS violation)
mera maanna hai ki ladkiyan koi bhi ghatiya se ghatiya update de unhe kaafi comnts milte hai par ham ladko ko vo kuch samajhti hi nahi hai........dey will always remain selfish
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