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Admit it. At some point in time you've tried to see if you had superpowers.
Son: Dad, my math teacher yelled at me today! Dad: Why?! Son: My teacher asked me what is 3 x 2, and I answered 6. Dad: That's right! Son: Then he asked me what is 2 x 3 Dad: WTF is the difference?? Son: That's what I said...
a black man walks to a bar. a white man says: "colored people are not allowed in here." the black man says: "when i'm born i'm black; when i'm cold i'm black; when i'm sick i'm black and when i'm dead i'm black! but when you're born you're pink; when you're cold you're blue; when you're sick you're green and when you're dead you're purple! yet you have the nerve to call me colored?!"
like it, if you are AGAINST RACISM
"If you love two people at the same time, choose the second one, because if you really loved the first one you wouldn’t have fallen for the second" - Johnny Depp
Oh your dating my ex? Cool. Im eating a sandwhich.... You want those leftovers too?
Missing someone isn't about how long it has been since you have seen them or the amount of time since you've talked. It's about that very moment when you're doing something and you wish that they were right there with you.
Werd.
ex-boyfriend and ex-girlfriend run into each other
boy:hey! listen, i really miss you
girl:*sneezes*
boy:bless you , are you sick?
girl:no, i'm just allergic to bulllSh*t.
Having a wank with the door open, because you're a fearless Ba***rd.
Showers aren't just for cleaning, and some people don't go in just for cleaning.... It's for...
A place thinking about life...
A place when your depressed...
A place to sing without getting embarrassed...
A place for alone time...
A place to get warmth...
Showers are amazing.
It's not that I hate you.. it's just, put it this way. if you were on fire and i had water, i'd drink it.
HAVE YOU EVER BEEN DOWN THE WATER SPOUT TO THE VERY BOTTOM OF THE WATER SYSTEM THERE YOULL FIND A LITTLE ALLIGATOR WHO GOES BY THE NAME OF ALFRED IF YOU DO HES MINE. I LOST HIM. I THREW HIM DOWN THE WATER SPOUT AND NOW IM FEELING LONELY CUZ HES GONE. I MISS HIM.
Snow White lived alone with seven men. Jasmine was in a forbidden relationship with Aladdin. Little Red Riding Hood didn't listen to her mother and went out. Pinocchio was a liar. Robin Hood was a thief. Tarzan walked without clothes on. Sleeping Beauty was kissed by a stranger and married him. Cinderella lied and sneaked out at night to attend a party.
These are the stories our parents raised us with & then they complain our generation is messed up?
At school we used to sing "Gooooooooooood morninggggggggg teacher.......".......when she said to sit again "Thanqqqqqqqqqqqq teacherrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr...........".......:p
I'm just a typical teenager?
I have a messy room.
I am moody.
I have fallouts/arguments.
I swear.
I moan most of the time.
I spend most of my time on my laptop.
I have private things on my phone.
I go to bed late.
So mum and dad.. deal with it.
"Dude, wanna hang out?"
"Nah, hanging out with my girl man."
"What happened to bros before hoes?"
"That rule still goes, but it's just that she ain't a hoe."
ben and jerrys phish food!
if your still standing, you haven't drunk enough.
(Content removed due to TOS violation)
(Content removed due to TOS violation)
I have Big Boobs,
I am amazing at Call of Duty,
and I can make a really good sandwich,
Unfortunately I am a guy....
I'm wearing my BEST butt jeans, my cutest shirt, my hair looks amazing, and no matter where i go looking like this, NO hot guys are there.
I'm at Wal*Mart, hair tied up in a bun, no makeup, sweat pants,old t-shirt with paint and holes in it, and slippers. and every time I turn around, HOT GUYS EVERYWHERE.
freakkin lovely.
the awkward moment when someone eats all the cake!!
Yes, I'm a girl. No, that doesn't mean you're stronger than me.
That awkward moment when you forget how to spell an easy word.
Girl: What's the price of this shirt?
Boy: 5 kisses
Girl: What's the price of that dress?
Boy: 10 kisses
Girl: pack both of them dad will pay
Boy: ...F*CK
When you hear a girl online playing black ops and whooping your ass, you automatically think shes hot, but in reality, she probably looks like the zombies youve been shooting all day
mwi wae the lads mwi wae the lads mwi mwi mwi mwi mwi wae the ladssssssss<3!
Bad weather + No school= Everyone on Facebook
the 4 biggest lies ever told:
1) I'm fine
2)Seriously, I don't like anyone
3) I swear that was my last piece of gum.
4) I have read and i agree to the Terms & Conditions
Guy: Want to hear a joke about my c**k? Never mind, its too long.
Girl: Want to hear a joke about my vagina? Never mind, you won't get it.
in every circle of friends, there is one who makes every conversation dirty, one who knows how to answer every question u throw at them, a blonde and of course, one who says random jokes and punch lines
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