Dear daddy, no matter where i go in life, who i...(See More)

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Dear daddy,
no matter where i go in life,
who i get married to,
how much time i spend with guys,
how much i love my boyfriend,
how much i talk about my boyfriend,
you'll always b my number one man.
Sincerely, your little girl.

My girlfriend phoned me and said "Hey, wanna come over cuz no one is home. :D" So I went over and rang the door bell. She answered, so I broke up with her for lying to me. Like if you get it.

I like turtles because they're so chill. They don't hurt anyone. They're just like, "Hey man, I want to swim, and maybe eat some lettuce. But I'm gonna take my time getting there, I'm not in a rush. Because I'm a turtle."

"s*xy" means I want you. "Pretty" means I like you. "Beautiful" means I love you. "Gorgeous" means all of the above and that is because you are the best thing that ever happened to me :)

Buddy: You're not Santa!
Fake Santa: Yes I am.
Buddy: No you're not.
Santa: Yes, I am.
Buddy: OK if you're Santa, what song did I sing to you on your birthday?
Santa: Why, uh, Happy Birthday, of course!
Buddy: Dang it...

be careful who you open up to. only a few people actually care, the rest are just curious.

"If you love two people at the same time, choose the second one, because if you really loved the first one you wouldn’t have fallen for the second" - Johnny Depp

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hollie mcgrath loves randall vandentol.

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You're the first thing on my mind when I wake up in the morning, you're the last thing on my mind before I go to sleep, and you're every thought I have every second in betweeen. <3 (:

sometimes the best revenge is to smile, move on, and do NOTHING ;)

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I love Pandas, they're so chill.

They're like "Dude, racism is St*pid. I'm Black, White, and Asian. And everyone loves me. Cause I'm a panda. So stop the hate and start the love, man."

3 yrs old "Mommy, I love you."
13 yrs old "Mom, whatever!"
16 yrs old: "My mom is so annoying!"
18 yrs old "I wanna leave this house."
25 yrs old: "Mom, you were right"
30 yrs old "I want to go back to my Mom's house".
50 yrs old: "I don't want to lose my mom."
70 yrs old: "I would give up EVERYTHING for my mom to be here.....with me."

You only have 1 mom.
Like this if you appreciate
& love your mom!

Dear Parents. Jasmine was in a relationship with a dirty homeless boy named Aladdin. Snow White lived alone with 7 men. Pinocchio was a liar. Robin Hood was a thief. Tarzan walked around without clothes on. A stranger kissed sleeping beauty and she married him. Cinderella lied and snuck out at night to attend a party. You can't blame us. We were taught to rebel since a young age.

Dear Parents,
I stay up late, fall out with friends, have a messy room, literally LIVE on my lap-top, I'm lazy, and I'm ALWAYS texting. Though mum, dad, I'm NOT the only teenager that acts like that. I am just a TYPICAL teenager. So don't think your doing anything wrong, because your not. To be honest, if I WASN'T doing any of these, things, THEN you should be worried.
Sincerely,
Teenagers everywhere.

Me: Can I use the bathroom?
Teacher: I don't know, can you?
Me: When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?
Teacher: ...

Charlie Sheen - "Nice guys finish last, awesome guys finish on her face."

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Oh your dating my ex? Cool. Im eating a sandwhich.... You want those leftovers too?

Boy: So, s*x at my place?
Girl: Yah!
Boy: OK, but I sleep in a bunk bed with my younger brother and he thinks we're making sandwiches so this is the code. Cheese= Faster. Tomato= Harder.
Girl: OK?
~Later~
Girl: CHEESE CHEESE TOMATO CHEESE!
Brother: Stop making sandwiches! You're getting mayo all over my bed!
Like if you get it ;D

It's not that I hate you.. it's just, put it this way. if you were on fire and i had water, i'd drink it.

you my friend.. are a silly sausage.

Not all guys want s*x, not all guys are obsessed with black ops, not all guys will cheat on you, not all guys will treat you badly, not all guys will break you heart, some guys are gay.

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It's cute when a girl takes a bunch of selfies and tags her friends, but when a guy does that; it just means he's gay.

Dad,
Today I'm a Bride,
Tomorrow a Wife,
And forever your little girl.
<3

Us girls . . we love it when you kiss us on the cheek, when you kiss us when we're in the middle of saying something, when you play with our hair, and when you wrap your arms around our waist. (:

1)i need 2 tell you a secret look at number 5
2)the answer is look at number 11
3)Dont Get Mad look at number 15
4)Halt and look at number 13
5)look at number 2
6)calm down look at number 12
7)just wanted 2 say i love you
8)it is...look at 14
9)its erm number 4
10)Last Time look at number 7
11)WeLL Its that look at number 6
12)Look at number 8
13)pls number 10
14)sorry but eh...Number 3
15)you must be really mad look at number 9