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when kieth lemon says
POTATO!:')

My girlfriend phoned me and said "Hey, wanna come over cuz no one is home. :D" So I went over and rang the door bell. She answered, so I broke up with her for lying to me.
Like if you get it.

Those we love don't go away,
They walk beside us every day,
Unseen, unheard, but always near,
Still loved, still missed.

I take my seat belt off before mum parks the car, because im a fearless Ba***rd.

I like turtles because they're so chill. They don't hurt anyone. They're just like, "Hey man, I want to swim, and maybe eat some lettuce. But I'm gonna take my time getting there, I'm not in a rush. Because I'm a turtle."

so they finally found out how much coke charlie sheen had...
...apparently it was enough to k!ll two and a half men

The first thing you think of when you hear the movie name Transformers is "Megan Fox" like if you think Megan Fox is HOT!!!

In your bed, it's 6AM, you close your eyes for 5 minutes, it's 7:45. At school, it's 1:30, you close your eyes for 5 minutes, it's 1:30.

1+1=69 . . . like if you get it :)

That crazy 5 seconds you have when you stand up to fast and go blind or extremely dizzy.

People say you don’t know what you’ve got till it’s gone. Truth is, you knew what you had, you just never thought you’d lose it.

Dude she just called you a trinity guy! Oh Hell No, hold my boyfriend!

At school we used to sing "Gooooooooooood morninggggggggg teacher.......".......when she said to sit again "Thanqqqqqqqqqqqq teacherrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr...........".......:p

i wish that fb had a button that would keep ppl that u dont want around and it blows up thair computer.

How your heart beats when you see his text. How a smile lights up on your face and you send a <3 back to him. How you wish he saw as more than a texting buddy...

That Awkward Feeling You Get When Walking Toward Someone You Don't Know On The Sidewalk.

hating your friends when you are with the guy you like. And then they try to make things awkward.

a ba ba ba bird is the word a babababa bird is the word

Wake up in the morning, feeling like a Belieber. Grab My Worlds 2.0, I'm gonna spread this fever.

Looking fo a stroller, warning tag says, :WARNING, DO NOT CLOSE STROLLER WHILE CHILD IS IN IT, MAY CAUSE SUFFICATION: Well, no Sh*t sherlock o.O

F*ck Valentines day.

Andy Sixx is hot :)

Boy: Hiya
Girl: Hiyah
Boy: Will you go out with me?
Girl: NO!
Boy: What did i just say?
Girl: Will you go out with me?
Boy: Yea of course babe:)
Girl:...

IF SOMEONE EVER DID THIS TO ME ID SMACK THEM IN THE FACE.

Well it sound good.

STOP FUCIN BULLIING ON FACEBOOK

Skipping a step when your walking down the stairs because your a fearless Ba***rd.

dont give random folk blowjobs..if you do you'll get a parasite and die.

put that in ur juice box.........................................and suck it